A Long Time

I know its always a long time between these but I am not a proficient writer. I should say basically I am a procrastinator. I write well I just don't that often. I should and I should read more but again I do not. I guess maybe its just a cse of necessity. At least now I am keeping up with my PDA and using it for what its supposed to be used for. I am using the calendar fucntions and the task functions. I tried with just Outlook several years ago but I am just now using Outlook as I think Microsoft intends. I am glad I am using it because it is slowly straightening my life out. I am hoping I can do that combined woth blogging and force myself to go back to school. It seems a long shot but hey it will be worth it if I can for real. I really wanna go back but its hard for me to get over myself I think. I just have to be like my Dad and just get fed up enough to just go out and get what I want. Like I would love to make more money for starters. I mean the Firehous is alright but is nowhere near what most everywhere else pays. I mean I have been there for what seems forever and I really dont make that equivalent pay. One might think I do but alas I do not. I am happy so far with work as a whole though which is why I cannot seem to quit I think. I love my job really. I just need to do more. I need to explore my options and go for more. I know I could do more with computers alone. I could take classes and excel greatly. I just need to really get it together. For myself not everyone esle. I even tried at the beginning of the year to keep a journal. What a flippin joke. I wrote one entry and that was all. At least maybe I can get serious and just do this. I might even make it private so only I know of my progress. Who knows. I know one thing I need to do something wuick or else I will be doomed for failure my entire life. I need to rise up and just grab ahold of what I want. I am sure its something with computers. Just what I am not sure of yet. I have seen many options and really am an undecided fool. Anyways here goes. My goal is by years end to have fully decided what I wanna do. I have my sexy phone and an Ipod. I have a new computer. I have a terabyte of harddrive space. I have practically most of what I have been dreaming of. I even finished my room which is a huge thing for me. I have privacy most of what I wanted. I think I am headed towards what I want but not too sure. By years end I must and I mean must have a goal and plan of action.